The Oldest Pub In England, And Other Stories

Olde Trip to Jerusalem

Behold Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem!

It’s the oldest pub in Nottingham, and it also lays claim to being the oldest pub in England.

The oldest “inn”, in any case. I referred to it as a “pub” because I didn’t like the look of the sentence “the oldest inn in England”.

Notice it has a longsword attached to its front.

I’d like to pretend that the figures in the foreground, all of whom are strangers to me, were not there at the time the photo was taken. The problem is, they look a little too glamorous to be ghosts.

Except, perhaps, the young man to the bottom right. He looks like a teenager who was hit by a car whilst running across the road to see the girl in the middle. Now his spirit will follow her forever more. The twist to the tragic tale is that he remains as invisible to her in death as he was in life.

No, these guys aren’t ghosts, but the place is full of them. Full of ghosts, and all manner of interesting things.

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New! Music Section!

Oh look! There’s a new tab at the top of this website!

Let’s see, what is it…music. It’s music!

Yes, I make music. And now I have a place to archive it!

There you’ll find my entire discography to date, plus links to my Bandcamp page, where you can download things.

Actually, that’s not my entire discography. Missing is an album I put out last year as The Filing Cabinets. It was the same note repeated endlessly over the course of a five disc boxset.

I’m proud of it, because it’s the first album in history that takes longer to listen to than it did to record. It’s not much fun, though. But if anyone really wants to hear it, just let me know, and I’ll send it to you.

Maybe it will one day be reissued as a lavish vinyl package, complete with unreleased tracks and remixes from such big names as Robin Tertuttle, Pernice Chyce, Pulse Wrist, Dirk Brick and Cassandra “Seismic” Lifestone.